The difference between the walking… And the walking dead Is what they have in common– The walking wounded can laugh at t… And the walking dead can only laug…

Tired of my pre-contemplation phas… God sent me my wife Who Contemplated me during the honeymo… Prepared me for fatherhood

You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

The American cure for the boredom of meaninglessness is not to pursue meaning but to outpace boredom which is why our mass nihilism

Materialism is no way out of Cartesian dualism It just turns backwards– I am, therefore I think– in an infinite regress

The logic of antisemitism Is the very same logic in witch du… When the only way the accused can… As she is dunked under water Is by sinking;

The surest way to know That God is always there for us Is that we always have a choice This is why religion and liberalis… Are a match made in heaven

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

We’ve gone from treating people as a means to an end to using them as props for pretend

In the beginning God said Let there be light A week later In the Garden of Eden

With the same hubris That got us into this mess In the first place We like nothing more than to decla… Global warming is man-made

Whenever an authority figure says It’s my way or the highway I end up wanting to have it both w…

You’re only truly clever When the devil says “Live forever If only from God you’ll sever” And you reply “Never For God is always my lever

Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer