Woe betide the man who accepts an apology

All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button

It takes billions of years for the… of stars to reach us on earth but for the light its passage is instantaneous Our current relationship with God

Charlie Brown wants To believe Lucy wants To deceive But maybe, just maybe

The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible

I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!

I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof

I try to imagine what it was like for my wife when two lines meant positive and the closest I get is when

You may think that the unconscious Is there to protect you from seein… How the sausage is made Because if you knew You wouldn’t want to eat it

Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more

I can’t say I have wants and needs; mainly I don’t want to be needy

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

The biggest risk of immortality is the lack of risk Chances are you’ll be bored to dea… for all eternity

The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print