Some people say They were born too late; I was almost born too soon But then along came the internet Just in time to stop time–

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

I wish I could be the Lone Ranger Instead like everyone else I’m the known stranger

I can’t just let go of my past I have to lose a tug of war and get third degree rope burns

You can’t prove that God exists But even if you could People would just say Correlation does not imply causati…

Steely Dan sings “I don’t wanna do your dirty work… again and again only once intoning “I foresee terrible trouble

Just as God is one There is only one strength– A yetzer tov That is strong enough to tame The yetzer hara

When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation

I used to have my own opinions then I started sharing them

With God as my witness I can look and then see With man as my witness I can’t see, but I can touch With AI as my witness

When my father-in-law dusted the cobwebs off our front p… they were back within the week It is hard to feel sorry for a spe… that has negligible capacities for…

Puzzles can be solved Problems can only be exchanged

If you pull my heartstring I’ll say one of eleven pre-recorded phrases but you can only hear the ones in the first four dimensions

I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…

The one thing postmodernists know… is that the surest way to control… is to convince people there are no… prompting an endless chain of seco… while provoking so much anxiety