Haiku, par Chris Gaither

My dissertation defense fell apart even as I read my title– The Bronze Age: A Golden Age of…

When Mao said “Everything under heaven is in utt… he went on to kill 60 million of h… When Xi Jinping said “Everything under surveillance is…

Mr. Sandman Bring Me a Dream

When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

The Death Instinct Can Lead to Aggression or Heaven (the Former May Feel Like the Latter but Only Leads to Hell)

In order to live I can’t die (but you can) In order to live and let live I must (eventually) die

God Falls to Pieces so That We Might Come in Pieces

Each of us are broken Off from one another So that together We create our mosaic Moshiach will come

1

We’ve Taken a Match Made in Heaven and Turned It into a Grudge Match

The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth

Whenever It Looks Like Batman and Robin Are Climbing a Wall with the Batrope, It Is Just a Camera Trick; We Too Face a Wall That Becomes the Ground Beneath Our Feet the Moment We Believe, Grasp the Rope, and Take Our First Steps Up the Wall

You don’t have to believe in God But if you don’t I believe you will hit a wall That wall is the limit of your thi… Since you will only be able to go

“The Force Will Be with You, Always” and Everywhere

They can kick you out and send you to Siberia but they can’t kick God out of Siberia

The Reward for Good Work Is More Work

If you do the right thing you won’t be rewarded but you will be enabled

The Open Door Prophecy

God’s door is always open Because God’s door is Our open wounds

Mass Psychosis With Extreme Anxiety

Sanity requires distance And social media is always Right at our fingertips

Instead of Back to the Future, It’s Forward to the Past

A civilization requires a high degree of both technological and cultural develop… So what do you call it when technological development

Between You and Me

Tech’s greatest feat is maintaining the illusion that we’re finally rid of the middle man when in fact

Try to Guess My Sign

My astrologer credited her work wi… for the discovery of a thirteenth… Jello the Jellyfish which shares the sting of my erstw… but is distinguished by a spineles…

AI Is an Adverb Because No One Can Remember How We Got Things Done Before AI

God is a verb Woman is a noun And man is an adjective Put them together and you have Moderate

Chris Gaither

Haiku

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