She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story
Solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment which is why they lock the cell but if they put you in solitary confinement
You can’t study for the purity test but you can copy from your neighbor
Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy
When you first arrive in hell they… Get comfortable, you’re going to b… Which is exactly how they hold on…
The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…
It was an offer I thought I couldn’t refuse: You can sit there and take it Or leave it Having nowhere to go
An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in
The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul
The last stage of wes– tern civilization was groupthink without groups
This ain’t culture war– it’s one cult in action with two rival factions
My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it
Scarcity isn’t a lack of abundance– it results from overabundance which enables hoarding
I thought the Protestant work eth… I saw all the lazy rivers in peopl… until I noticed they were each swi… against the current
If you want to win friends and inf… Find out what they care about (This is easy) Ask them about it (This is significantly harder)
