The soul is an appendix made of wo… and while plenty of people function perfectly well without on… much like the physical appendix– which stores good bacteria
Like Ikea fur– niture, I am difficult to put together
Given a choice I’d rather open a restau– rant than my marriage
Like a real life Picture of Dorian Gray my hair stays full even as my act wears thin
The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible
“You want fries with that?” used to be a line to mock the working poor How ironic that “You want fries with that?”
TaB Clear whose only selling point was its clearness was offered exclusively in aluminum cans
The biggest change in my lifetime Has been the change in the meaning… They don’t have a prayer It used to mean They don’t have a chance
All plants and animals die But only human life is A near-death experience Immortality, then Wil be the death of man
We have religion for the heart and science for our brains but the head and the heart are afraid of each other because there’s nothing for the ne…
You could say– We flatter ourselves that In knowing all seven basic colors We’ve implicitly mastered every po… As if they weren’t infinite and th…
As AI gets smarter and smarter we’ll grow cuter and cuter until like a pug who struggles to breath… we’re too cute for our own good
All opinions are wrong but you can only learn from your own mistakes
The depths of despair will be alleviated to the degree of your depths of attachment
When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs
