The first thing I fell in love with was her out-of-office notification

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid

Once masks became quote-unquote op… the unmasked were finally unmasked and the masked remained unamalgamated

If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value

Ignorance is bliss but playing dumb hollows out the abyss

Mysticism, esoteric knowledge, these are euphemisms for what’s hiding in plain sight: We are not alone

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome

Brexit is a fantasy that a people who previously sat astride a global empire can now sit apart from globalizati… when in reality

You can’t make art worth dying for with what art is worth paying for

Heart cancer is vanishingly rare because a heart of gold only spreads love, not gold while a mind of gold inevitably spreads all the way

The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down

Acting locally solved climate change but now instead of a life or death situati… which at least had a degree of rom…

Seeing as no good deed goes unpuni… Everyone else turned the job offer… And went back to waiting on their… Only the Jews understood that In the real world

The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way

We can’t fool God But we can fool ourselves into thi… We fooled God The surest way to do so Is to fool ourselves into thinking