You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won

There was always an urn on the man… made from terra cotta Little then did I know it was for the remains of the persona non gra…

Much of life is boring Which is also why Life is so funny

God is the world’s only super-bower

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

It’s not a real collection Unless It’s unsatisfying It’s not real money Until

I didn’t start consistently moonwa… until they required us to wear Fit… to qualify for our employee health…

When did we ditch the Pledge of Allegiance for the wedge of a grievance

Brexit is a fantasy that a people who previously sat astride a global empire can now sit apart from globalizati… when in reality

They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us

Because we are social beings whenever people said they have no… they always meant they have no soc… Real life was social life But now social life is short for

It was easier to live the lie I w… Than to face the truth we all knew But eventually The truth blew up in my face And now it’s written all over my f…

I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me