Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist

Privacy is when everyone can see you but no one is watching Surveillance is when no one can see you

The universe is a kinetic watch so time only keeps going if we’re on the move making Zeno’s paradox of motion just a way of reassuring ourselves

The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring

Our task is never-ending And our time is limited This is a major source of complain… But consider the opposite possibil… Our work here is done

I thought I’d flown the co-op by living off the grid And yet I’m still a chicken only now I’m on the skids So I’ve up and joined a commune

We used to wonder What will they think of next? Having lost our capacity for wonde… We insist Now they’ve thought of everything

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

Narrow minds see The narrow odds of making their es… Cleaving to the straight and narro… They’ve cleaved the path in two And because they can still see no…

When did we ditch the Pledge of Allegiance for the wedge of a grievance

There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…

It takes talent to write a hit pie… but anyone can write a puff piece that in thirty years will read as a hit piece

The second half of life is a second chance to give as much as I have received

In phase one we lived in order to live In phase two we talked in order to live In phase three,

The free food programs during the pandemic were great So, to compensate people began to ration love