One person can never predict the future but two people can if they get married This is a clue

My self-care plan includes a cheat day when I get to go to church

Is it live? Let’s go to instant replay For constant analysis While we wait and see And while we wait for it

When the shit hits the fan at least I know I won’t be wearing flip-flops

The lie you chose to believe Always contains the truth That has chosen you The lie is comforting Because the truth is disturbing

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

In this world The greatest pleasure Is always anticipation: Moshiach is coming!

Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley

To take control Over human beings’ bodies You need only establish regulation Over the reward systems in their b… Because doing this for yourself

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

The difference between a materiali… Is that a materialist finds it rat… That dark matter and energy must b… Because it makes their calculation… But fears they’ll never find it

In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,

I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?

That wasn’t the sky Falling on your head That was the truth gone to ground By playing dead

When people meet me they typically think I’m a sensitive guy but later they realize I’m a time sensitive guy