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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

A Few Clams Don’t Go Nearly as Far as They Used To

A Rising Tide of Discontent

We thought it would last forever
but in retrospect we were having
a high time at low tide
when the clam digging was easy
and the eating was good

Altre opere di Chris Gaither...
Write What You Know

Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about
How to Be a Good White Liberal

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”
If We Just Retrieve What We’ve Already Learned, the Golden Age Will Be a Fait Accompli

Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one
Apocalypse Later

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten
Of Monsters and Men

When randomness blends with lawfulness you get the Loch Ness
I Don’t Have Any Vices, Just Devices

If we learned anything from the pandemic it’s that people much prefer being left to their own devices over
Good to the Last Drop

I’m still the kind of person who is shocked that you can run out of gas and run out of luck at the exact same time
I’m Done Playing the Fool; I’m The Fool

I thought I was Playing to the crowd When all along I was getting Played by the crowd The crowd, it turns out
It’s the Difference Between Being Wile E. Coyote or the Pink Panther

Insanity is thinking you can ever get what you want and devoting your life to getting it
Meet the New Me, Same as the Old Me

Unlike Saul, when the scales fell from my eyes I learned I was a serpent, sheddi…
It Was Cool When John Paul Jones Said “I Have Not Yet Begun to Fight!”; Us, Not So Much

It’s as thoughtless as a fling conjoined with worshiping as we all “Move fast and break thi… For in going from built to last arriving at built too fast
When Did People Get So Small?

We’re told the space between galaxies is expanding but mightn’t the space within galaxies
You Already Know This by Heart

Your ego has you fooled To stop playing the fool Start identifying with your soul And as soon as you do You’ll begin to see the ego
Little Did We Know

I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!
The Real Me

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both



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