You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…
When I asked Permission to come aboard The ship of fools They said Everything is permitted
We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles
I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty
Easy to please but problematic to appease
What do you call it when people are so bored that they start playing with fire and soon enough find themselves fighting fire with fire
The free food programs during the pandemic were great So, to compensate people began to ration love
It wasn’t until I earned my MBA that I understood the second comin… as an incredible opportunity for r… e.g, think about the implications… Jesus updated from sandals to toe…
They say love it or leave it yet what do you do if you love your country but it leaves you
I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid
At first moving heaven and earth is its own reward because it’s hell on wheels But self-flagellation
When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation
In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering h… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor
Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle
You’ve met your femme fa– tale when you can’t stop wishful thinking about her
