God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!
Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski
The high strung flaneur gives free advice to the good and good advice to the free
My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough
We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good
Future generations will laugh at o… their augmented cognition instantl… how the magician’s lovely assistan… but there is one trick they will n… half in fear that it would crash t…
The universe is always asking By chance, do you have a creative…
The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them
People are the opposite of baked potatoes– If you keep poking holes in their theories they will explode
Unsatisfied with natural consequen… human beings concocted perverse in… which is to say where once we were mere mortals now we are self-defeating
As long as there have been people there have been people wearing mas… the difference now is that each mask comes with an entire cos…
Experience teaches men that Money is addictive And love is the only cure for addi… For a thousand thousand dollars is… While one woman is more than enoug…
The faceless horde finds strength in numbers by losing themselves in the crowd But when your numbers are small
Nobody invents themselves so we’re left to choose between perfecting or reinventing ourselve… Nobody’s perfect of course
Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk
