People understand that their socia… depends on their phone but they wrongly believe that the existential question at h… is the familiar
When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing
God’s relationship with us Is on a need-to-know basis: Whatever we need to know He will tell us– In fact, He already has
We expect a fiduciary relationship with our financial advisors and all they do is help handle the money Yet we so often fail
I’ve gone from being an embarrassm… To having an embarrassment of rich… What is my wealth? Being who I am Because I Am Who I Am
When they said God is dead They just meant God is forbidden And like a fool
They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand
The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him
The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…
I was an idea man with one good idea and I have no idea why they stole my idea of a good t… when they could just have it
Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one
No one loves a woman like her man and no one loves capitalism like its Marxists In each case
There Is Always Room For
The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know
People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…
