It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…

Never Win Anything

All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs

It’s not just that The civilization I was born into Is gone– This probably happens To most of history’s long-lived

There are two types of men: Those who lie to deceive and those who by lying tell you what they really believe There is one type of woman:

They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

In this world The greatest pleasure Is always anticipation: Moshiach is coming!

If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value

The central paradox of our broken world is known through the feeling of unsurprised disappointment Hope is the belief

Our brains are just big enough to operate eight fingers and two thumbs An octopus is smart but if it also had

Excuse me, Are you still Taking excuses?

Darth Vader. Only you could be so bored.

Rock and roll will never die because OK Computer replaced the world with itself

Human beings have always used the symbolic to navigate the real; until recently we did so by imagining that the symbolic is rea… whereas scientists imagine that