The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck

There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already ignored

Science was happily letting the cat out of the bag until Schrodinger’s Cat was found in and out of the bag at the same time

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

People complain that Jews stick t… In spite of, or, more likely, beca… That it is why Jews are still her… And always will be Jews stick together because

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

This world is backwards And reverse is the only way forwar… How do we put it in reverse When everything is backwards? By rediscovering our drive

People used to kill the goose that laid the golden egg because they wanted more gold

Life is a game of Truth or Dare in which you never lose if you choose dare and where you never win if you choose truth

Who is my trainer? God Who is my sparring partner? God Who is my cornerman?

Human beings need to compete for what they want To ruin human beings try meeting their needs

I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything

We live in an age when the greatest danger is an excess of caution

My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it

Just because we’re not in control Doesn’t mean we’re out of control The rest is commentary