The world is a cast of characters Social media is a caste of caricatures
When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience
Actually marr– iage is like riding a tan– dem unicycle
The fog is so thick now We’re buried up to our necks in it Our bodies out of sight And out of mind Making the ground beneath our feet
A wedding ring is a mood ring that never changes color reminding us that a husband should always feel
Paradoxically To approach perfection You need to make Really big mistakes Ironically
My fellow Americans Where once we shared a collective… We called the will of the people That simultaneously tamed and expr… We have now regressed to the preci…
If I were going to rephrase the O… I’d say I believe in God because There’s no better explanation And if I were going to re-explain…
You know the (re)normalization of… is in full swing when the New Yor… justifies its publication of a cro… in the shape of a swastika on the start date of Chanukah
Mark my wounds, Our words will come back To flaunt us
Anticipation or dread work equally well at stopping time though the length of the work week
If you fear death You will try to control God By controlling others To prevent them from killing you If you fear God
The sloth’s plangent gaze confirms what we already know: The eighth deadly sin is haste
There are two types of men: Those who lie to deceive and those who by lying tell you what they really believe There is one type of woman:
Optimists dance the two-step: It’s going to get worse before it gets better Pessimists plod
