Everyone wants to drive a wedge between the monotheists and the Da… when the only real difference is that the former believe this land was made for you and me
Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both
Nobody remembers how to forgive Because posting on social media Is an act of seeking approval
Instead of dismantling oppression we dismantled the printing press inaugurating the Information Age when no news is good news all information is disinformation
In His infinite wisdom God made the pen mightier than the… Which is why the internet’s first… Is the First Amendment It’s only once free speech and fre…
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
I won the day when my antagonist branded me a reactionary because, of course, I’m an overreactionary
They couldn’t have been more obvio… in their preparations for the surp… trusting that I was the type loathe to ruin my own surprise
The faceless horde finds strength in numbers by losing themselves in the crowd But when your numbers are small
When life gives white people lemon… they make ginger tea lemonade wit…
Poets are to their poems As parents are to their children Preparing them for the world Without knowing what they will do
Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski
My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it
When they replaced me at work with… I was suddenly able to devote a lo… to not being the creative type
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
