When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

The pleasure of a new discovery is only exceeded by the satisfaction of making a recommendation

The difference between art and rea… is that the artist is doomed to re… the triumphs of the past

Now that I’m wearing a mask I find myself telling strangers everything

When your nuclear family of origin Takes the nuclear option They’ve already gone mad and self-… So, they’re counting on mutual ass… To finish the job

My wife fell right back in love with me when we came up with a rubric

If my peccadillos Are mere cigarillos Why is my hide as thick as an arma…

The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

Social media came for our teenage… and unable to organize their inner… they turned their aggression inwar… Now AI is coming for our teenage… and unable to impact the external…

No one is exactly sure why God switched from a pass/fail syst… to having you grade yourself but there have been quite a lot of B-plusses flying ar…

We’ve taken the mystery out of lif… Which makes this a murder mystery Because in choosing immortality We are killing ourselves More accurately, then

People think that their report car… will be graded Pass/Fail but since God has a mysterious rep… He gives two grades in every subje… You get an A for effort

You’re supposed to love everybody but everybody knows that’s putting all of your eggs in one ba… so everybody eggs each other on in making a western omelet