I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

Everything changed when Snob appeal became mass appeal Since once the internet democratiz… It only matters What you can afford to believe

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

The human capacity for love is perfectly equaled by the human capacity for aggression The chances that these two traits would have been selected for

For years I sojourned as a humble… Hanging all my hopes On one day emerging as a brilliant… For my moment in the sun Inching ever forward towards the s…

I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!

When it happens We can’t help but ask What is déjà vu? Since déjà vu destabilizes all of… Which boil down to

I’ll go those who want to live on forever in their apartment… one better– I’ll never even leave

You can only make a difference in the face of indifference

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes

Once I realized that I wasn’t afraid of sky diving just that my parachute wouldn’t op… I was able to conquer my fear without ever leaving the ground

“The week that AI went to scale” was immediately followed by “North America’s UFO weekend” as if all this time the UFOs had been waiting

My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough

In a Hegelian reversal, I couldn’t com– plain but it would help

People who enter a plea of I’m sorry if you were offended are bargaining for a sentence of time served reckoning they’ll have got off sco…