My fellow Americans Where once we shared a collective… We called the will of the people That simultaneously tamed and expr… We have now regressed to the preci…

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

If you want to know what the quarantine was like for me walk a mile in my new leather sweatpants

Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing

Kid, I’ve flown from one side of the galaxy to the other, I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s a theory of mind controlling everythi...

As long as there have been people there have been people wearing mas… the difference now is that each mask comes with an entire cos…

No one ever told the truth but not a one of us were liars because we always spoke exclusivel… in the future tense

The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth

At work They know me by my secret identity The mild-mannered Clark Kent But at home with my family I can relax and let them see the r…

You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher

In the latest version of Captain… Captain America’s archenemy is Captain Obvious for all the obvious reasons

All art’s politi– cal but some art is more re– ligious than others