I’ve started blind copying my wife on emails to myself

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like

When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation

We can all agree that life is the number one cause of death But no one wants to admit that death is the only cause of ne… Nevertheless, we love our children

It’s a truism that life is a roller coaster ride But it’s also true that unlike a roller coaster things get even more interesting

When hell freezes over we’ll all skate on our sins

We all know death is coming and yet it remains a surprise ending

Strange that we use Out of order for broken and for breaking the rules As if the Coke machine

The question isn’t: Why is there something rather than nothing? It’s: Why does it mean something

The most useful pawn is the one who believes himself king

The world to come is like a signature look that’s always a new look

The Fed has one lever to pull– interest rates– to keep all of us consuming

The lamppost is an outpost Where it’s safe to admit That between you, me, and the lamp… Self-knowledge is over-rated Self-deception is automated

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one