My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…

I wasn’t born to follow mainly because I would never go through a red light

Wonder Woman’s invisible jet was like a stratospheric glass cei… preventing her from flying like Superman

The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar

I believe because I doubt sounds absurd until you realize that if there’s no doubt about it you are not free to choose

Anselm’s ontological proof fails at proving the existence of God; there is no way around a leap of f… Instead, it proves that human bein… are incapable of accessing God’s m…

I didn’t know my own strength because my strength is in numbers But now I know that my greatest w… was wanting to be number one Fortunately, while it’s easy to ge…

The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

I didn’t start consistently moonwa… until they required us to wear Fit… to qualify for our employee health…

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

If you leave well enough alone for long enough you’ll have enough to make you cry

We never know what’s in the offing Which is why we’re always on Except on Shabbos When we’re off And then it’s off to the races aga…

Life is a test but I’d been treating it like a quiz– which is a preparation for a test– under the assumption that when I d…

You’ve met your femme fa– tale when you can’t stop wishful thinking about her