Seeing as no good deed goes unpuni… Everyone else turned the job offer… And went back to waiting on their… Only the Jews understood that In the real world

People understand that their socia… depends on their phone but they wrongly believe that the existential question at h… is the familiar

If we know our physics is real Because GPS works Then we know our God is real Because language works

Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see

I never really knew what postmodern meant until I moved to the internet when from time to time

We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other

I know what I want But do I want everyone else To know what I want That is the question

The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him

Social media is a dream come true– Finally, I can keep up appearances while letting myself go

If you do the right thing you won’t be rewarded but you will be enabled

Our bodies are exactly as strong as gravity’s resistance makes them… in recognition of mortality we symbolize this through the know… that gravity is the weakest

Just as a lucky horseshoe works Whether you believe in it or not As long as the competition to pass… Goes on forever Then everyone’s a winner

God loves you more than anyone els… But if you live in denial of this Inevitably you will come to believ… You are your own biggest fan As you stalk yourself

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death