Life as we know it Is a competition for status In this competition Socialists are unequaled As are you and I

Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go

It’s when all the signs say Everything must go

I was an idea man with one good idea and I have no idea why they stole my idea of a good t… when they could just have it

Tech’s greatest feat is maintaining the illusion that we’re finally rid of the middle man when in fact

Not to be outdone I cut my face off to spite my nose

Who says ye cannae change the laws… Where before Every action had An equal and opposite reaction Now every reaction

You’ve met your femme fa– tale when you can’t stop wishful thinking about her

You can neither know nor control t… But you can follow it And as you follow the truth You will come to know How to control yourself

A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway

You have a real life if there are no easy solutions You have a real problem if there are no easy solutions but there is an easy way out

Losing what you never had is only possible when you look for it exactly where it never was

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value

Living during COVID-19 Was like trying to eat A bag of individually wrapped M&M…