Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

We believe that God is being because it’s our only way to access God as meaning

I know a guy who knows Paul Simon who told me the real reason for th… was that Paul got sick of Garfunk… stalling for thyme

I have a tendency to overreact When people tell me to get lost By taking them literally and serio… Which is literally how I found Go… Seriously!

God doesn’t make mistakes; God makes people People make mistakes And learn from them that God doesn’t make mistakes

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

We had a perfect plan for putting the genie back in the bottle but to get the genie out we had shattered the bottle

Our phones are latched to our face… Exactly like the Facehugger in Al… Rendering us passive As our phones insert the bioweapon We call fear

Unsatisfied with turning on the T… to take our minds off things we’ve taken to turning our minds o…

The latest version of antisemitism takes the form of a magic trick: The diversion– Antisemitism is bad The illusion–

Before I met you the happiest I’d ever been was when everything I’d ever wante… was on lay-away because I didn’t have to make any…

We’ve taken the last ember in the ashes for a glimmer of hope

Given a choice I’d rather open a restau– rant than my marriage

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid

A rising tide lifts all boats But a rising sea floods all moats