American Express changed its slog… “Don’t leave home without it” to “Don’t live life without it” in acknowledgement that

You’ll know you’re talking to God When He doesn’t talk back Yet you still have your answer

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…

From where I was situated There was no room to maneuver In the situation room And everybody else found themselve… In the same situation

I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

By hook or by crook I do it all by the book

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

Two things can be true at the same… 1. Logic tells us what we can and… 2. Paradox tells us God can do wh… More importantly God sees what we cannot do

Old habits are hard to break but impossible to make New habits, like flossing, are easy to make

In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering h… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor

What looks like the wreckage of my life is just my crumple zone doing its job

I thought I could keep the family… until I realized I was the family… So, all the time I was afraid of… the family’s dirty laundry I was already wearing

If you are taught that asserting yourself is wrong your only defense will be victimho… Knowing this we can reverse engineer