We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened

Solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment which is why they lock the cell but if they put you in solitary confinement

Actual justice consists of hearing both sides of the story in order to decide which side is in the right meaning that justice

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

The American far left lacks a unifying Great Leader because as a cult of narcissists each disparate member belongs to their own

We have achieved the classless society: eve– rything is tacky

Much like God created the univers… Where before there was no universe… In this universe we find patterns Where, upon first glance There are no apparent patterns, ju…

Dreams don’t come true; They are true

My organizing principle Is that everyone wants to be princ… Unless they realize that God is p… And that for God Everyone is principal

Optimism Hope without optimism Hope against hope Unconditional surrender Noncontingent being

For the longest time we were convinced there’s something they’re not tell… But now that they’ve finally told… we can’t stop asking

If they cut a deal with the devil to cut you loose without ever having to cut the crap they’ll cut right to the chase and… how much it saddens them to cut ti…

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs