John F. Kennedy’s hair was so lus… for the most part men never wore hats again At first we must have looked oddly like tub…

The sloth’s plangent gaze confirms what we already know: The eighth deadly sin is haste

My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes

God’s not buying it Until you own it– Are we clear?

A leader attracts a following The following attracts a crowd The crowd mobs the leader The leader forms a mob The mob goes mental

It was only after we debuted our sugar coated raisins to fight back against Craisins that I realized you could win hearts and minds

Strange how we’re so worried about Artificial Intelligence taking ov… when we’ve long since succumbed to Artificial Emotional Intelligence in the belief that if we

I’ll go those who want to live on forever in their apartment… one better– I’ll never even leave

You’ll know it’s the Fountain of… when you dive in to get it over wi… endure the shock, but then you never get used to it

To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–

My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

The Declaration of Independence w… revised to guarantee life, security and the pursuit of criminals

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

Because a man is only as good as h… you’ll know he means what he says when you see him do it But on social media a man is only his words