Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God

In true democracy Authority flows via The will of the people In our technocracy Authority grows via

Yes Life is a pain But it is a labor pain

It’s because certain questions will get you killed that certain other questions are also answers

LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio

Life’s a lot easier Once you realize that All truths are hard truths

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C… Holds that there is a sequence In which an experience is followed… By a belief, a thought, and a feel… Fair enough

A rising tide lifts all boats But a rising sea floods all moats

Like the fern which is seedless but doesn’t lack seeds the universe (that cannot be named… is meaningless

In the first half of life I tried it your way and succeeded which is how I got over you In the second half of life I did it my way and failed

In the beginning God said Let there be light A week later In the Garden of Eden

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

The difference between poisonous snakes and venomous human beings is that when the snake bites you and explains

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…