I remember saying to myself Okay, this is it the moment of truths

I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty

He may have gotten away with mass… But at least we didn’t let him Get away with murder

Cartoonists always draw the lightb… pointing up so that no one will think it’s a n…

Socialists count on the fact that there are no private languages but there is

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar

Home isn’t Where you go And they have to take you in No such place exists Home is

At the very beginning of the Tora… Just after enabling the light God separated the waters of the de… And of the heavens (rendered into… With the land

After fifteen years of marriage I thought by now I’d have made partner

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion

Life’s a lot easier Once you realize that All truths are hard truths

If you want to know what the quarantine was like for me walk a mile in my new leather sweatpants

The sloth’s plangent gaze confirms what we already know: The eighth deadly sin is haste

A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine