I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!

When I said That’s none of your business they replied Actually, that’s our entire busine…

Inasmuch as handling gold is always a thorny affair all gold is rose gold but black gold

My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough

To paraphrase Hitchcock a marriage is only as good as its villain

If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

Brexit is a fantasy that a people who previously sat astride a global empire can now sit apart from globalizati… when in reality

Pressure is wanting it for someone else Passion is wanting it

I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

It’s not that we’ve abolished death but we’ve made it a mere formality

The cover-up is always worse when there’s no crime

We like to think That the solution to our problems Is coming together As one human family When this whole time