Just because they’re coming to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid
I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?
The distance between zero and one is infinitely greater than the distance between one and infinity
It took the spies of Five Eyes to tell that Putin wasn’t bluffin’ But just ask the staff at Five Gu… and they’ll tell you Trump’s MacG… He longs for Daddy’s approval
It was only when I shared my out of body experience that I came to understand it was nothing out of character
You can cash in on your talent You can cash in on your good looks You can cash in on your hard work You can cash in on your good luck You can even cash in on all four
A man starts out lying for instant gratification Inevitably, this progresses to buy… his unending rationalizations
There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence
Everybody talks about the lack of movies for grown-ups but no one mentions the absence of grown-ups Of course, without grown-ups
Of late I always feel like I just got off one of the spinning rides at the county fair but that’s just the sensation of civilization accelerating as it
They put a circle at dead ends so you can either live there or turn back but we just keep
Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable
Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle
100% of success is showing up on time
An army marches on its stomach but it convoys on its internal combustion engine Still, the way to