If you want to feel a little bit guilty just break a rule or two But if you want to feel well and truly guilty

The first difference between your… When you know your boss’s eyes are… You need to look busy But when you know God’s eyes are… You actually want to get busy

Each and every TikTok is a remake of the Zapruder film

I try to imagine what it was like for my wife when two lines meant positive and the closest I get is when

The Imaginary: I disagree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it The Symbolic:

After years of therapy the stump came to see that there was an I, two even, in the giving tree

If new car smell lasts forever you will not be able to smell it

It’s a truism that life is a roller coaster ride But it’s also true that unlike a roller coaster things get even more interesting

One party rule Finally clicked in America When the ruling party rebranded As the Pajama Party

It’s not just that The civilization I was born into Is gone– This probably happens To most of history’s long-lived

I was born in the summer of my 47th year coming home to a place my mazel’d ever been before

The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

In order to live I can’t die (but you can) In order to live and let live I must (eventually) die

Do I still get credit For ignoring the critics If they are just the voices in my…