You can’t know what you will decid… But you will know when you have de… You can’t know how you will act on… But you already know what is at st… Everything hangs in the balance;

I always wondered if mimes were a type of clown until having my mind blown by the insight that

My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough

As the Zamboni driver erasing everything that just happe… so it can all happen again I am preparing for my own death

It’s a sign of the times that No matter the path you take You will know you are finding God When first you become an embarrass… And only then receive

I never believed in automatic writ… until I tried my hand at TikTok and felt an invisible hand gently (as in pleasantly) but insistently (as in relievedly)

Evil is cruelty plus pleasure

The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know

Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist

Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see

The human condition is either thinking that we’re free when we’re actually held captive or thinking that we’re captive when we’re actually free

I told my daughter Let me give you some free advice: You get what you pay for And she said I don’t get it

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

All opinions are wrong but you can only learn from your own mistakes