When they start to call you clear-eyed it just means you’re a cynic whose time has come

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes

I don’t believe in myself So, I must control God I believe in God So, I can control myself

Heads you take the risk Tails I take the reward i.e., Out of many risks, one fortune

An army marches on its stomach but it convoys on its internal combustion engine Still, the way to

Keep in mind that if you’re going to jump from the frying pan into the fire a golden parachute just buys you plenty of time to ponder

In a post-pandemic bid to remain relevant the SATs have removed all true/false questions in acknowledgment that such questi…

There was once a time when No Jews allowed Meant No Jews allowed But now they say

In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”

Breathe in not out

When you first arrive in hell they… Get comfortable, you’re going to b… Which is exactly how they hold on…

After you’ve uploaded everything t… and run the lot of it through the… be sure to recycle, but keep a lit… perhaps in a locket around your ne… or, if you go in for irony,

Average academics Have a pet theory Dominant academics Have a pet theory about pet theori…

I don’t get mad I get odd

The ferocity of narcissistic rage Is in direct proportion to the dis… The depths of their contempt And the heights of their self-rega… Healing for the narcissist will on…