The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology
There were 102 passengers on the… So why only 101 dalmatians?
You can only e– ver explain things with that which cannot be explained
You can’t break the chain of events but you can break the chain of custody for the chain of events
Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant
Time tells a story and linear time is a plot device we’ve made up, call it a time machine, to advance the plot
Everyone thinks Vladimir and Estr… stay together because they’re both waiting for Godot when really it’s their mutual disdain for Wile E. Coyote
Unsatisfied with natural consequen… human beings concocted perverse in… which is to say where once we were mere mortals now we are self-defeating
Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…
You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling
The lower classes are those people who are not allowed to compete To feel good about perpetuating th…
She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story
Marriage is a safe harbor until the moment you harbor a grudge
The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…
The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors
