A long time ago I received my mission statement: The best version of myself isn’t t… I’m currently on my ten thousandth… Trying to figure out what this mea…

It was easier to live the lie I w… Than to face the truth we all knew But eventually The truth blew up in my face And now it’s written all over my f…

I asked ChatGPT to tell me what I was thinking and it said You’re thinking I once was lost

The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

If I could change one thing about… I would stop trying to make myself Impervious to change

Under new management, hell now consists of friendly fire

My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game

If I could put Just one thing In a time capsule It would be A crystal ball

My wife and I have remained happi… because she recognizes me as capta… as long as I acknowledge her as air traffic control

Wonder Woman’s invisible jet was like a stratospheric glass cei… preventing her from flying like Superman

At the end of life you can either say I brought it or I bought it

If as according to us their problem is being worse than… at least they can get better But our problem

The devil’s one job Is making you an offer You can’t refuse And there’s only one thing The devil can’t offer

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false