Modern research methods have detec… that there’s no such thing as a ba… leaving scientists puzzled as to w… the whole bunch is still spoiled

Step up to bat– It’s you against the world First base– Doubt yourself Second base–

If you leave well enough alone for long enough you’ll have enough to make you cry

I was voluntold to make myself sca… But scarcely do they realize In pretending to give me a choice They have unwittingly given me an… Truth or dare?

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

The prevailing mood was that of a nuclear submarine having failed to deter Armageddon

Even when I’ve had sweet dreams Sleeping leaves a bad taste in my… Because even good dreams are bad d… Since the worst thing you can do t… Is to fulfill his wishes

Civilization began When the sons killed the father And substituted the name-of-the-fa… Civilization is ending Now that we’ve killed off the name…

The digital clone born of your onl… Isn’t you, exactly But that leaves open the question… Who is the real you? This can be resolved by answering…

We all know death is coming and yet it remains a surprise ending

When I was a kid we thought the end of the world was coming any minute via The Button Instead it came a little later

Service is inevitable; it’s why we… And there are three kinds There is serving others Because they control you– This is slavery

The two-week lockdown To bend the curve Turned into a year-and-a-half That bent our minds When

God doesn’t make mistakes But He lets us make mistakes Which, unless I’m mistaken Means there’s no mistaking us for… But being mistake prone