Post-pandemic life is a broken rec… Where they keep saying If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it

Liberalism without religion is lik… dining at an all-you-can-eat buffe… There’s plenty of everything but everything is so-so Religion without liberalism is lik…

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid, I’m afraid not I’m afraid

Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as

I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut

When our mirror stage was over we didn’t just lose the mirror we also lost the stage In replacement we got a screen (for screening out…

It’s not that I’ve often taken leave of my senses but that I can never take a hint

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print

As users of language we give off meaning the same way that plants as users of sunlight give off oxygen

The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth

The decisive moment at the gates o… is exactly like the denouement in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? but with one twist To make you feel the pressure

The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible

If Star Wars is actually told From R2-D2’s perspective Then our only hope Is that God lets us go on believi… We are more powerful