As human beings Every last one of us Is trying to get away with somethi… So, give thanks to God– He will never let us get away

Actually marr– iage is like riding a tan– dem unicycle

My dad was a very religious man He always told me You’ve made your bed now you’ve got to not eat in it

Ours was the first all you can eat… to earn a coveted Michelin star and I always thought it was becaus… when you ordered the whole enchila… it came with bottomless fries

God gives us what is necessary but not sufficient because nothing is ever sufficient

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

Jews learned to read between the l… when time and again they were granted a lifetime membe… only to find that their membership could still be lapsed

In the analog it was enough to consider the source Now, in the digital you must consider the source code:

In banishing fear of the unknown By knowing it all Our risk is only greater Because now It’s the devil you know

Jews will tell you Right up front That they believe They are the chosen people WASPs believe that they believe

You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money

When at last Our time comes Just as we realize the need To give things time It will have come to pass

Optimists dance the two-step: It’s going to get worse before it gets better Pessimists plod

The biggest shock of Judgment Day Was that they don’t give out grade… Just comments Which, of course, is worse Mine said: