I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me

The crucial ingredient for random mutation to drive evolution is a surplus of time But nothing

Alas Nobody wakes up in the morning To kiss my ass Miraculously I don’t wake up in the morning

There is no theory of quantum grav… Because– Einstein notwithstanding– No one understands gravity There is no theory of God

Jews will tell you Right up front That they believe They are the chosen people WASPs believe that they believe

You can’t prove that God exists But even if you could People would just say Correlation does not imply causati…

If you take the cognitive map of… and rip it in half you’re left with two Google Maps: the one on the right of Israel

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

When at last my colleagues convinced me to go out after work and I’d relaxed enough to drop my… everyone could finally see my helm…

Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%

If we know our physics is real Because GPS works Then we know our God is real Because language works

The cold war was a just war but a just war is still just war and war is hell

The decisive moment at the gates o… is exactly like the denouement in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? but with one twist To make you feel the pressure

Is it really leading by example when I floss in the office men’s r… after lunch or is this what the Buddhist’s cal… bodhisattva exhibitionism

I can demand control Of my fear Or I can accept That I am not in control And be not afraid