When I put a period at the end of my text message it means that

I know I’m losing an argument with my friends when my thoughts turn to lunch I know I’m winning when I’m about to lose my lunch

We can’t tell you how anything wor… It’s computers? Nothing works? This party rules! It’s not the only party in town

The phrase A woman’s intuition Tells us that a woman Is more intuitive Than a man

The difference between Being asleep at the wheel And being asleep at the wheel Of a self-driving car Is that in the former

To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off

God is the world’s only super-bower

You have to believe to commit And they think we’re crazy to beli… And would commit us as inpatients If only they had the patience But their patience has worn thin

A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection

When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience

God’s not buying it Until you own it– Are we clear?

If the soul is eternal then self-overcoming more than becoming who you really… is becoming who you always were It’s like peeling away

Rock and roll may be dead but it’s got one of the great corp… like a dead horseshoe crab

Because desire is lack like everyone else I take what I can’t get until I learn to give what I can

At bottom freedom consists of the possibility that you are wrong