In the last stage of capitalism the rich will be ascetics

If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

The ego (that’s you) is a symptom of lack (that’s nothing)

There were 102 passengers on the… So why only 101 dalmatians?

No one seems to see (least of all me) that being all you can be isn’t about clutching superiority– it’s for abjuring mediocrity

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome

You can’t believe without doubt But if you only believe in doubt Then you’re doubting doubt Which is like Exhaling and exhaling

On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit

It is only when you conduct a fearless moral inventory that you will come to fear God because you knew the right thing t… but did the wrong thing anyway

Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like

Free will consists of recognizing the inevitable and choosing wisely

Imagine the disappointment when we… both wearing Velcro singlets but each fashioned from the softer… with nary a hook between us

We guard the thin line between love and hate by loving more But we cross the thin line between self-love and self-hate

When success is made mandatory for all it becomes impossible for any

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing