God’s not buying it Until you own it– Are we clear?
I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny
There used to be two types of peop… Those who wanted to Go ahead and get it over with And those who wanted to postpone t… This enabled some degree of self-s…
Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe
You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear
It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect
The culture war is a cyber war where you can’t tell that you’re behind enemy lines until you’re compelled to read your lines
When the highly educated play dumb and you are dragooned into spelling it out for them know that their obtuse dissembling bespeaks regression to the oral st…
Your mind Is playing a trick on you And you are the trick But since all healing Is a form of getting over yourself
A heart can only beat in synch with another A broken heart still beats because God keeps the time– just as He keeps us–
An ego Without a body Is a ghost And we are All of us
I have a different problem: there are no feelings to express my words
The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you
If they cut a deal with the devil to cut you loose without ever having to cut the crap they’ll cut right to the chase and… how much it saddens them to cut ti…
The biggest risk of immortality is the lack of risk Chances are you’ll be bored to dea… for all eternity
