In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb

The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life

Nothing is more anathema to our ti… than a phrase that was still secon… just five minutes ago: May the best man win To understand everything we’ve los…

The difference between God and ma… Is that man can’t abide A free Jew While God will abide With the Jews

As bumbling first mate to his capt… Gilligan wasn’t in charge But he was the star of the show Which is how the male ego understa…

Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…

Asked for his thoughts on God the materialist replied Nothing doing The mystic said Exactly

I am my own worst enemy But God is my greatest ally I like my odds

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

You would think doing well on social media would give you strength in numbers but you only end up

Your soul is mission control And Houston We have a problem Literally Problem is

The ego is like a booster rocket That starts out incredibly massive But sheds its size As it delivers its payload– The soul–

The Fed has one lever to pull– interest rates– to keep all of us consuming

It’s only once You’ve submitted to God’s will That God will say Surprise Me

I was always trying to find The signal in the noise Until I found God And discovered that It’s all signal