I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…
You need to follow the rules all t… so that you’re following the rules… At the same time, you need to know exactly when to break the rules But there can’t be a rule for brea…
You’ll never convince me that when the sun and moon are out at the same time it isn’t the sun appearing at nigh…
The path to victo– ry begins with laughing at yourself in defeat
When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone
I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food
Those who can do talk shows Those who can’t teach others to show, don’t tell
What do all apples have in common? It only takes one rotten apple to… Because all apples are unique But a mob of apples are uniquely b…
In the face of loss I staved off loss of control by gainsaying a loss for words
As the enormous asteroid hurtled toward Earth I found myself working harder than ever
They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth
Some families hide the truth in pl… By laughing at it Although it gets confusing for a c… When the truth is a joke That can’t be told
There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…
I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone
A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family
