We’ve taken the last ember in the ashes for a glimmer of hope

When the world is a tsar Insisting: Don’t you dare be who… Take it as a dare and risk the sca…

In real life we used to say I’ll see your talk and raise you action but that was just too risky Preferring no stakes

In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat

A smartphone with AI is to a person as a person is to a horse

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

Like anything else immortality has its pros and cons: Our chickens never come home to ro… but our cows never come home eithe…

I always thought everybody was saying It’s better to be safe, then sorry

You may only break the rules of S… In order to save a life Because Shabbos saves your life

You’ve always dressed to impress But it’s only since social media That you can use your appearance To exact compulsory service

As you age getting enough exercise in futility becomes more and more a portent

Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing

Do I still get credit For ignoring the critics If they are just the voices in my…

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…