My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese

The state of nature, where there’s Something for everyone To fear Monotheism, where there’s Something for everyone

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house

The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them

You’ve used others When you use your talents To serve yourself You’ve used God When you use your talents

When I ask What’s wrong? It’s always short for What’s wrong with me?

It was an offer I thought I couldn’t refuse: You can sit there and take it Or leave it Having nowhere to go

In the first take of Braveheart’s… Mel Gibson directed William Wall… “Freedom and responsibility!” But as a practiced antisemite Gibson quickly realized his error

I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief

Having heard that God is everywhe… and failing to see Him anywhere the unbeliever deduces that God is neither here nor there when, in fact, God is in the air

Liberalism is a gift That can only be received from Go… Sourced anywhere else It becomes a debt That can never be repaid

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say

I am my own worst enemy But God is my greatest ally I like my odds