Like anything else immortality has its pros and cons: Our chickens never come home to ro… but our cows never come home eithe…

People think that their report car… will be graded Pass/Fail but since God has a mysterious rep… He gives two grades in every subje… You get an A for effort

Human beings are that species For whom No Is considered a cryptic response While

When life gives white people lemon… they make ginger tea lemonade wit…

I was waiting for my ship to come… But maybe I should have made like… And built a ship Especially since my neuroses all c… You’ve probably heard of them–

God took the risk of betting on us Because He made us to embrace ris… God is betting that we pass our on… What are you willing to risk your… a. Everything

A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids

Rule #1- Where God says no, the devil says… And where the devil says no, God… Rule #2- If everybody knows the answers ahe…

If you take the cognitive map of… and rip it in half you’re left with two Google Maps: the one on the right of Israel

The heat of mutual disdain that always sustained us in person has cooled with depersonalized cam… that detain us via cursor

I dream in color but my interpretations are in black and white

2/3 of the Earth Is covered by water So, most of the underground Is under water Accordingly, in dreams

When the world is a tsar Insisting: Don’t you dare be who… Take it as a dare and risk the sca…