I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

Secure in my authenticity I thought I’d avoided that trap which had ensnared so many of my g… the safety of ironic distance– until I realized that

The Bad News Bears Bear the bad news That people tend to kill the messe… They are the bearers of bad news Not because they bear bad news

Paper comes from trees but when money was made of paper we all agreed that money doesn’t grow on trees

There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation

We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good

Before I feared God You could say or do Just about anything to me And I would respond No big deal

The kingdom of heaven is like a tr… where gentlemen may remove their h… while all others must

The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way

In real life we used to say I’ll see your talk and raise you action but that was just too risky Preferring no stakes

Skulls of Roman glad– iators indicate high rates of C.T.E.

Where before It was handed to me on a silver-pl… Where everything real was just bel… Now I’ve found the real way forwa… By making it up as I go along

There’s no time like the present as we now reside outside of time inside a stalled clockworks as useless cogs in the rundown machine

You’ll know it’s the Fountain of… when you dive in to get it over wi… endure the shock, but then you never get used to it

The days of having a cold spell have given way to the era of casting a cold spell